Unending Torment

October trip to Fort Worth

2009-02-03T04:40:00.000-08:00

This is a very late entry but it took me near enough forever to figure out how to get the pictures off sam's computer and onto my own.

Anyhow in October I went to Fort Worth to "promote" this film - http://www.howtobemovie.com/ - in which I have a role as the charming and charismatic "Ronnie".

It was a fun trip and I actually took some pictures so I'm going to write a kind of diary/report on the trip with explanatory pictures.

FRIDAY

This is the coffee I drank in Pret A Manger before the flight to Boston (where I changed to go to Fort Worth). Thinking about it, I might have changed in Chicago, but it's largely irrelevant.
On the tills in Pret A Manger is a sticker that reads "VAT NIGHTMARE: We're legally required to add on VAT when you eat in. Nightmare." This made me feel a lot more genial towards Pret A Manger and actually made the experience of paying VAT a kind of shared joke between myself and the cashier. The flight was pretty good I think, although I got lots of hassle coming through customs, which always happens. It's probably because I look so much like a terrorist.

When I got to Fort Worth after having changed at Boston or Chicago, there was a driver waiting to pick me up in a Cadillac, which made me feel so grand that I got him to stop at the Drive-Thru starbucks.

Here's me enjoying my coffee whilst the driver asked me whether us brits were happy with Daniel Craig being the new James Bond, which predicated a very stilted conversation.

This was the view from my hotel window when we got into town.

After assessing my room, I went down onto the street to take some pictures of downtown Fort Worth.

After that I went to the hotel bar and had one of these, which is probably my favourite beer.

After that I watched some TV and went to sleep.

SATURDAY

I woke up at five or six because of the time difference. I watched some cartoons which made me feel out of touch with today's youth. Then I decided to hit the town and get some breakfast so I got up and got my clothes on.

Here's me all duded up and ready to go!

I had an excellent breakfast for around 3 or 4 pounds, which made me feel very unpatriotic for a good hour or so.

Then I went to find the organisers of the festival to see if they had anything for me to do and to find out what time the film was being screened. The coffee had been pretty strong and by the time I got to the place I was pretty wired. I don't think they knew who I was for at least the first five minutes of our conversation. They left me in a reception room, where I experienced the glitz and glamour of the film world firsthand.

The festival was sponsored by Red Bull, so I drank some free cans and got even more wired.

I imparted no meaningful or useful information to the festivals organisers and I received none either. I walked around the town for a bit and then went to Barnes and Noble.

I had another coffee and read half of the Marilyn Manson book "The Long Hard Road out of Hell", which was enjoyable but pretty uninspiring.

I spent the afternoon watching a documentary on the apocalypse and waiting for the Nikki (she was my PR person for the trip) to arrive.

Nikki arrived and we went out to one of the "parties" that the festival was holding. I was getting a bit nervous as the screening was happening that evening. I drank lots of free beer at the "party" and tried to not think about smoking. Then I went to get interviewed for something, although I don't know what it was.

The man with the microphone was shaking, I don't think he was very experienced at that sort of thing. Neither was I though, we made a right pair!
NB: Look how economical they've been with red carpet. Waste not, want not.

I went round the corner and had a few beers in preparation for the screening. I don't really like watching the film in public. Anyhow we got there late and I snuck in and went and sat at the back with my hands over my ears. Luckily, everyone seemed to like it. Afterwards I did a Q&A with the audience.

Here's me saying something witty and insightful.

Here's me posing for photographs with some ardent fans. Notice how I'm not touching either of them.

After that I spoke to some people and signed a tiny piece of paper. Two nice ladies said that one of their daughters had wanted to come but couldn't, they asked for an autograph but I didn't have a pen so I ended up giving them my young person's railcard. The joke's on them though as it expired last September. We then went back to the place I'd been interviewed and met two girls who had won a competition to meet and interview me. They were completely uninterested in the entire thing, the girl doing the interview didn't write down anything I said and the other one just read text messages and occasionally asked me if I thought they should go to a "rave party", which I didn't really have a strong opinion on. The competition must have been a close-run thing!

Then we went to a bar where I got drunk and watched a great blues band.

The guy at the bottom was called Steven. He bought me lots of drinks (Newcastle Brown Ale on tap, surprisingly) and was a very big fan of Thatcher, which made me like him for some reason - probably because of all the drinks he bought me. He was a cool guy, though.

I proceeded to get more drunk.

I ended up in a hotel bar with Steven talking about whether or not Cornwall should be it's own country.

SUNDAY

On sunday I felt pretty hungover. We went to the awards brunch which was held in an upmarket hotel.

Here's me "enjoying" a Bloody Mary. In my opinion, it tastes like cold Ragu with loads of pepper. I was so visibly appalled by the taste that the waiter reprimanded another waiter for having made the drink wrong.

We then sat down to the awards brunch.

The most striking thing about the awards brunch was that it went on for two hours and there was only four or five awards. There was also hardly anyone there. It was just the same few people who ran the festival thanking each other and giving each other standing ovations. I don't mean that cynically, that's just the facts.

This is me leaving the awards brunch. We didn't win, but never mind. Fort Worth was well worth it!

Headlines

2009-02-03T02:38:00.000-08:00

I've always been very keen on local newspaper headlines. The ones in the Ham & High (my local newspaper) are always very entertaining -"Weird Goggles Banned From Pool", "Highgate Priest Is Really Buzzing" etc, but the ones in Hackney are a lot more exciting!
http://hackneygazette.blogspot.com/

Freddy's Revenge

2008-08-30T08:00:00.000-07:00

Bloody Disgusting are reporting that New Line are planning a new Nightmare on Elm St Film. Good news. There had been talk of this being a prequel, but that would be absolutely ridiculous because it would have to include all the flimsy bits of back-story that have surfaced over the course of the series; Freddy being the son of a nun raped by 100 maniacs, Freddy being a multiple child-killer who walked free on a technicality, Freddy's foster father being Alice Cooper etc etc. Thankfully, though, this prequel business has been scrapped, opening up a world of exciting possibilities.

I reckon what they should do is one of two things, either:

1. They should make it a straightforward sequel. Forget all the increasingly complicated ways in which Freddy's been killed and extra-killed in the last few films and just carry on as normal. Use the same format as the first film but make it ultra-modern; I'm imagining Freddy getting into someone's Myspace account or his hand emerging from an ipod earbud or something.

Or

2. They should make it a Rob-Zombie's-Halloween-esque "reimagining" of the original. Actually I think that's basically the same thing as the previous idea apart from perhaps they should cast Linkin Park's Chester Bennington as Freddy in this one.

Either way they should get a move on.

Thin Lizzy - Jailbreak

2008-08-04T16:30:00.000-07:00

I know this is old news but in case you don't know, this album is amazing. The weekend before last me and my little brother got stoned and listened to the whole thing in pretty much absolute silence. I urge you to do the same.

Thin Lizzy - Jailbreak [1976]
http://www.mediafire.com/?fdd1wdntgnd

Videos by my friend Josh

2008-08-04T16:11:00.000-07:00

These are some videos by my friend Josh, he's an interesting fellow. The first one is called The Interview and the second is a song called "Train Across Siberia".

The Interview

Train Across Siberia

New Capricorns album: Brutal

2008-08-02T09:07:00.001-07:00

The new Capricorns album is out. I've been waiting for this album for three years. Its immense. The songs are like the bigger brothers of those on Ruder Forms Survive with way more complex time signatures and lots of mean atonality, which isn't to say that they lack straight-up brutal riffs, because there are about two million of them.

This is the song "The Bell Rang Backwards".

Top Five Nightmare on Elm St Films

2008-08-01T18:03:00.000-07:00

1. A Nightmare on Elm St II: Freddy's Revenge

I know it's not the actual best, but it's my favourite anyway. I like it best because it's so gay. Instead of a young girl, the fred-ster goes after a confused teenage boy, with hilarious consequences. It's also the one where Freddy goes from villain to fully fledged hero, although if you ask me he always was.

2: A Nightmare on Elm St

The best, and definitely the scariest, film of the series. This is largely due to the awesome and unexpected ending. All the N.o.E.S films have basically the same ending: Freddy is killed, Freddy comes back, with both events being of equal importance. I call this a “mass ending.”

3. A Nightmare on Elm St III: Dream Warriors

This is the one that everyone's seen. It has higher production values than the rest and features one of the more rousing tie-in songs of the series with Dokken's "Dream Warriors" (video here), although the Fat Boys song for number 4 is also very good. Dream Warriors is the first film to introduce the ridiculous back story about Freddy being the son of a nun who was raped by a 100 maniacs, making you either less or more sympathetic to his cause - depending on how you see it.

4. A Nightmare On Elm St VI: Freddy's Dead

Freddy's “death” (he always dies, mind you) is most memorable because of the 3D bit. I've never actually seen it with 3D glasses, but I'm assured it's a sublime experience. The credits list the music as being by Brian May, but in reality it's only for about 20 seconds. 20 good seconds though, and you get to hear Brian May singing. You can only imagine. Alice Cooper and Roseanne have cameos.

5. Wes Craven's New Nightmare

I know it's not a real N.o.E.S film, but it is Wes Craven, which is more than most of them. It's predictably brilliant, ruined only slightly by the bizarre decision to put Freddy in clean clothes.

Skinhead Weetabix advert

2008-07-30T14:58:00.000-07:00

My Friend Richard recommended this to me. Its great, it really makes me want to eat Weetabix.